Joys and Sorrows

Today, I sat having lunch with some ladies from my work who I barely know. One of them is well into her fifties, with brown short hair and laugh lines around her eyes. She said that she is not even the same person she was when she was twenty-five. Then she she sat silent for a second, holding her fork in her hand a bit before putting it down and admitted she still hasn’t figured out who she is. I nodded my head in agreement and shared the wisdom I have gained in my humble twenty-nine years. While I could say it is wisdom that I have gained without help, I would be lying. This was wisdom shared with me about a year and a half ago, but of which I merely filed away to be digested later. This year I see it. I believe it. And I want to share it.

We may never figure out who we “are” and that is okay. We are who we are today. We are constantly growing and changing as we experience life and its joys and trials. I am not who I was when I was ten. I am not who I was when I was seventeen. And I am certainly not who I was when I myself was twenty-five. And that’s okay. If anything, it’s actually a blessing. Because for me, I believe I am better than who I used to be. And while I still have much more growing to do before I reach my ideology of what I hope to be one day, I am one step closer everyday because of God’s grace and teaching—how he uses the experiences of my life to shape me and mold me.

My mom told me that when you go through hot water in your life you can act like one of three things: carrots, eggs, or coffee. You can get soft and weak, you can get hard and not allow yourself to be vulnerable, or you can change the flavor of the hot water. No matter what, we will go through joys and sorrows in our lives. God promises we will. But he also promises that if we lean on him, He will continue to help me change for the better and grow strong. Continue reading →